By: Shlomo Vaknin, C.Ht

“When we do the best that we can, we never know what miracle is wrought in our life, or in the life of another”. - Helen Keller

The “L” in NLP stands for Language, and we do use a lot of linguistic models and tools in our work. When a client comes in and seems to have a hard time to pinpoint the triggers or causes to unwanted behaviors or thought patterns, we use a linguistic tool called “Connectives”.

Connectives in language are words and phrases that connect or link between ideas, making an association one statement and another. Milton Erickson was using connectives a lot, inducing a trance by connecting and associating between vague ideas or facts and hypnotic suggestions.

Here are some examples of connectives in the English language:

“and”, “before” / “after”, “therefore”, “because”, “although”, “whenever”, “while”/”meanwhile”, “if”, “or else”. There are more connectives, of course, but for our purposes in NLP we really don’t need a lot.

To help a client define exactly what it is that prevents them from behaving the way they want or forces them to behave the way they do not want, simply ask them to make a statement of the Effect and insert a connective word. For example- if a client comes to see you for smoking cessation but cannot pinpoint the trigger/s for his smoking habit. You can ask him to make a statement and complete the sentences:

“I smoke when…” – revealing location or time related triggers – “I smoke when I drink coffee”.

“I smoke if…” – revealing emotional reasons – “I smoke if I am upset / concerned / annoyed / happy”.

“I smoke because…”, “I smoke after / before…”, “I smoke whenever…”, etc.