How easy could it be to control your own mind, to change your behavior instantly, to get better at anything you want, to think faster, to come up with bright ideas, to be fully motivated and active and resourceful and happy…

A better question, I think, could be: how much easier could it really get?

NLP revolutionized our way of thinking by making the “flexibility of choices” concept more popular. No one really invented NLP, they have just created the names and regrouped some concepts. But that alone made it easier for each one of us to “get it” finally.

Now, when you think about “flexibility of choices”, what should immediately come up in your mind is your own image, making flexible choices on a moment basis. That’s where true magic is hiding. In the one giving moment, in which you’re in while you’re awake.

The simplest way I found to truly actualize the concept of “flexibility of choices”, is by using the most “primitive” and basic reframing formulas of NLP. That is one formula, that I keep seeing other NLP enthusiasts forget to use! It is simple, maybe you’d think it is too simple, but I can tell you first hand – it is an amazing split of a second technique to get you going.

The formula goes as follows:

“What If…” + “How would…” + “Right now” = anticipated dissociation

We’ll take 2 very common examples of immediate flexible choices, which you might also feel somewhat related to. The first would be the nasty habit of thinking about what others think about you… the second would be motivation to action (for doing anything).

We do not handle the “why” you think about what others think about you, or the “why” you are not motivated to do that specific thing you’re thinking about doing without action. The “why” is much less important than the “what” and “how”.

There are two major keys to make this formula work.

The first key is to keep it personal. That is, you’re going to ask “what if I…” and not “what if they / he / she / god / etc.”. Personal responsibility is the first ingredient of making flexible choices.

The second key is to dissociate. The right part of the equation says “anticipated dissociation”. You’ll soon understand what the whole formula means, but until then just remember that your new constructed “what if” image should be dissociated – that is, you will see your image over there… you’ll see your face, body, expressions, clothing, and so on, as if you’re looking at your self from a few meters away. That is dissociation.

Now, let’s take the first common example:

You live your life, how wonderful. Lately you are a bit concerned since you catch your mind, every now and then, thinking or worrying about what others might think of you. It does not matter who you’re thinking about, and what you think that they think about you… what matters is, that you want to live your life without worrying about other people’s possible thoughts about you. Because, let’s face it, who really cares?

Since you’re not one of those NLP zombies, you already know that a personal change can never be absolute. So even if you worked on your self esteem before or on your personal image or on whatever is related to not thinking about what others think about you… you have the flexible choice at this very moment to stop that thought process.

“What IF I did not care about what they think about me.” +
“How would I look like?”+
“How would I behave?”+
“How would I speak?”+
“Right now”.

That’s the whole deal. By the end of the question, which should take you a split of a second to ask and not more than another second to construct the image you’re looking for, you would already feel better.

When you’re using this formula for flexible choices, you’re actually giving your brain a management procedure. “Look brain, this is what I want right now…”. If you do it fast enough, your mind won’t have time to pick up those excuses you usually come up with when you think logically about the whole situation.

“I know I shouldn’t think about what they are thinking about me… but you see, John is the strongest guy in class and if he…” blah blah blah and blah.

Logic doesn’t work when it comes to managing your brain. You can philosophically argue with yourself until the end of the universe and back, and still you won’t change even one tiny thought.

Can you do the second common example on your own? Try it…

“What IF I had the motivation to get dressed and go to the gym.” +
“How would I act?” +
“Right now”.

Now, let me ask you this…

“What IF you were kind enough to share your thoughts and compliments with NLPWeekly.”
“How would you do that?” (just an idea – use the Feedback form below) +
“Right now”.